Exploring the Space of the Ending

Thinking aloud about working on what I already know is the end of a manuscript even if I'm not sure how to get out

Went away for a much needed vacation over the past week, during which I left the current chapter of my novel in progress nearly done but not quite. I call it a chapter even though it’s basically novel-length all on its own and so are the two already complete chapters that came before it.

Technically I’d reached the end of the conceptual ideas I’d had in mind to bring the underlying narrative to the necessary kind of stopping and/or transition point a chapter requires, but something still felt lingering, like I hadn’t quite pushed the text to its conclusion even though there was nothing remaining in the way.

The perfectionist in me hates to step away when still in flux, afraid that allowing distance at such a crucial point could interrupt the vision without any way back. At the same time, I felt anxiety trying to force the cloth over the table with the luxury of rest breathing down my neck, and ended up spending the last couple days before we left working on the same two paragraphs, hoping something would click and I could call it good.